The story of Lilah Jane

I really feel that Lilah's birth story starts a month before she was born. Unlike with my other 2 pregnancies, I felt like I was in a full month of early labor before she was actually born. I was walking around 3-4 cm dilated from 35 weeks on and had constant hard contractions day and night. We even had one false alarm in the hospital at 38 weeks where I had contractions every 2 minutes for 12 hours, but it didn't progress into anything.
When I went past due, I was trying to hold it together but I really felt like I was headed towards the funny farm. I was so, SO tired from the contractions and I felt huge and just didn't see an end in sight. My doctor encouraged us to induce at 40 weeks, 5 days because she said my body was ready and we didn't want the baby getting too big since I'm only 5'2". I was extremely emotional about an induction, as I just wanted things to happen naturally, but Pat encouraged me that there was only so much I could take and that we knew from the ultrasound that she was fully developed and ready.
So we set the date for Friday, March 22nd and I prepared all day Wednesday by grocery shopping with the boys, cleaning the house, and walking to get icecream with friends that night. It was a sweet night of family time. All that was left to do Thursday was soak in the boys and do laundry. That night my back hurt so bad I couldn't even sit on the couch so I relaxed in bed with 39808 pillows and read 'Little Women'.
Thursday morning I woke up at 4am feeling like a truck hit me. I wasn't having contractions but I just ached everywhere and I was convinced my appendix ruptured. Because you know, that's the only reason I would be hurting at 9+ months pregnant :o) I got up and sat on the couch and read blogs in the silence. Around 6 I started to get contractions that hurt badly but were just 6 min apart. I was positive they were just there to torture me as per usual and do nothing. Soonish though I woke up Pat to see if he needed to do some work in case we were headed to the hospital. I got in the shower to shave my legs and had a lot more contractions while standing up. I was in denial for awhile but then finally came around to the fact that this might be "it". Pat was great at keeping the boys occupied but I think they could sense something was up b/c Cole kept coming to me asking me to "Hold him" and Fin just wanted to cuddle. I love my boys but when laboring, I don't so much want anyone touching me :o) Even though contractions were still manageable, I called my sisters Sarah and Nicole to come watch the boys so we could head in. This was mainly bc I was just having a hard time laboring at home and keeping a "happy face" on for the kids sake. We told Fin that Lilah was coming today and he was over the moon excited. It was so so cute.
When Nicole got there, we headed out and my neighbor Merideth guessed where we were going and screamed excitement out of her window while she held her newborn. It's a pretty funny memory for me :o)
We got there at 9, checked in, and I was 5cm and 80% effaced. Still wasn't in terrible pain but my labors tend to progress at a pretty decent pace and so I told the nurse to keep the epidural in the back of her head :o)
I sent the boys a pic of my contraction face...


and watched some Gilmore Girls while Pat ate a delicious smelling chicken wrap. All I kept saying, even as the contractions got worse and more intense was, "I am so hungry. All I want is chikfila".


Around 12, I was 7 cm and 90% effaced and decided to get my epidural to make sure I had enough time. The contractions hurt but I could still breathe through them, but I was just very conscious that I did not want to push without an epidural.
My doctor, who I love love love, came in around 1 and broke my water. A little before 2 , I felt a lot of pressure and let my nurse know. Homegirl was struggling with basic computer skills and I just kept sitting there thinking, "I do not CARE if you just erased all the info you inputed...I need to push!". Of course I was being sweet as pie to her, but when her back was turned to me I kept mouthing to Pat, "DO SOMETHING". lol poor Pat.
Finally she said I was complete and could push and called my doc who appeared like 3 min later, bless her. I texted my sisters and mom that I was getting ready to push and then 5 minutes later...She was here!


The nurses and doctor commented that she was a "good size" and "look how long her hands are". I seriously just couldn't believe a baby came out of me. I was convinced she was a myth, we had just waited so long for her. They laid her on my chest and she immediately started smacking her lips and rooting around. Immediately she latched perfectly and nursed both sides all snuggled to me.


The nurse then weighed her and said she was 9lbs 1oz and 21 1/4 inches long! We were all shocked. She was perfect though.


I alternated between saying, "She's sooo cute" and "I'm so happy I'm not pregnant anymore!".








God was so gracious to give me the strength to labor and merciful to give me another easy labor and delivery. I have had such great births and I treasure each story of them in my heart. And now Lilah has her own story and we are so grateful that she is here.

Soaking up the time

To be completely honest, this past month has been one of the most trying times in my life. Being so uncomfortable, having constant contractions, sleepless nights with various arms and legs falling asleep, and constantly wondering if today is THE day have taken their toll. I alternate between "please God get her out" to "wait no, I don't want anything to change!". But I've learned I have no control over this and have had to face that daily which may be a hard and tearful lesson to swallow, but apparently I needed to learn it.
I'm grateful for all the love and encouragement from my friends and family. From encouraging phone messages from my dad, to neighbors leaving me sweet treats, to friends dropping by homemade sweet baby girl gifts, I have felt so so loved.
I've also been so grateful for each day I get to spend with the boys as I savor this time of just two, with Cole still being my baby. Pat has also been an amazing supporter and encourager and I'm so proud of the hardworking and selfless man that he is and how he supplies me with chocolate when I'm losing it :) Literally, some nights when I've had contractions all day, he just goes down the street to the gas station and brings home an ice cream bar. It's my love language :)
So Friday is the day we induce unless she decides to come on her own before then. The end is in sight and I can't even imagine meeting her, but I'm pretty sure once I do, we are going to be attached at the hip for a very long time.
Until then I'm grateful for these moments as we wait...

Old school Pink Panther movie night



Finding 42 photos identical to this on my phone. Cant handle those cheeks.



My boys on St. Patrick's day. Fin was more then happy to wake Pat up by pinching him bc he wasn't yet wearing green :)



Dying Easter eggs with the boys. They actually were so gentle with no spillage. Cole was NOT happy that we weren't eating them immediately afterwards. Homeboy loves him some hard boiled eggs.





Fin and Cole are very into making birdie nests or forts every morning which involves taking every pillow and blanket in the house and piling them under Pats desk. I got out of the shower this morning to this view of Cole saying "tweet, tweet I'm a nakey birdie in a nest".


Soon and very soon...

Ready and waiting

Lilah girls nursery is all finished and waiting for her. It's such a calming room to me and lately when the three boys (yes Pat is a boy when playing) are doing their nightly massive wrestle/scream fest/pillow fight session, I sneak off to her room and sit in the glider with the door closed. This usually lasts 1 minute until one of the boys are coming to find me because they "miss me" but I do enjoy my hideaway.

View of the crib. You may not be able to see but the print is of a hedgehog floating down on a balloon. Because I seriously have never seen anything cuter in my life.


Changing corner


Glider by the window. Third baby to be rocked/nursed there. I'd say we are getting our mileage out of it :)


Sweet dress my mom bought for Lilah that has lilacs on it


Bedding: not a great pic but lots of light pinks, yellow and dark gray.


Another view of the changing corner.


Lilah's crib is the boys Favorite place to play in the house. They lay on Boppys, blow air at the Birdies hanging to make them dance, sing Happy Birthday to Lilah and sneak race cars and dinosaurs in. At least someone's occupying the crib :)





My sister Sarah was a Huge help in putting the nursery together. Can't wait to see a baby in it now :)

Fins theology take 2

Yesterday we were driving home from the gym when Fin asked me, "Mom, how do people FEEL God? Because they can't see him".
I tried to keep it simple and said when you obey your mom or dad or when you are kind to your brother and that makes your tummy feel good and happy, that's God letting you know He's happy you listened and obeyed him. And when your stomach hurts a little bit when you disobey or tell a lie, that's God speaking to you too. Apparently Fin took my little "feelings" lesson and put it on a four year old level.
"So when I disobey, I feel like I do when I really need to go poop, but I don't let myself go poop so my stomach really hurts?"

(Sigh) Yes exactly. Also mental note, remind Fin to poop more often. Two birds, one stone.


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36 weeks-9 months of belly

Full term baby. Feast your eyes and be fearful.



So grateful for 36 weeks of cooking a healthy baby girl but so.so.ready to wrap up this pregnancy gig. I feel peaceful in waiting for the day God has chosen for her to come, but I am also ready to get my body back and have energy!

DOCTOR APPT
Last week, at 35 weeks, I went to the doctor for a routine check up. I brought the boys like I usually do bc they love to hear the heartbeat and the nurses at the office Love them and always say they look like little birds. Cole always responds with, "I'm not a birdie, I'm a coley!".
This appt however, the doc whipped out the old paper sheet and told me she would be doing an internal check and THEN I would have to walk to the lab to give blood. Thanks for the heads up.
Trying my best not to traumatize the boys, we made it through the check ("Stay up by my head!! Finley...3 steps backwards!") and the blood work ("No boys, you are not getting a shot, I am. Yes I promise....look I'm giving blood and I love it! It doesn't hurt at all!). Side note : giving blood hurts a lot.
I don't think any scarring memories were made but I will be appreciative of Pat being there next time. Baby is head down and I was surprised at how progressed I was at this stage so good news all around!

PRAISES
The nursery is done and my house has been nested. My sisters and mom surprised me with a little sprinkle where they gave me the sweetest little outfits. Pat's mom and sisters gave us our car seat so we now have something to bring the baby home in :)
Also I'm so grateful the baby is head down and ready to go.

COMPLAINTS
I'm doing my darnedest not to waddle, but homegirl is sitting low and my stomach muscles are protesting. Also I'm in the stage I was with Cole where the Braxton Hicks are constant, especially in the evening. They are pretty painful and regular and most evenings by 6 or so, I'm counting down the minutes until bedtime so I can get off my feet into a bath. Also, I could write a book about how much I miss sleep, but that's just sad. I get the most painful leg and hip aches all night every night that keep me awake, but I have found that rubbing Vapor Rub on my legs every night does help for awhile. Fine mom, you were right. It cures everything.

So here we are. Waiting and enjoying our time in a male dominant house :) When Lilah's here, the scales will be tipping more in my favor. The toilet seats are coming down boys!

Snow take 2

After completely ignoring the weather forecast out of sheer annoyance, Pat and I were upstairs working out at the Y on Saturday when we saw huge snowflakes start to come down. We were excited to see the boys reactions so we picked them up from their class downstairs and as soon as we got outside, Fin swore he caught 3 snowflakes on his tongue. When we got home it was all about grilled cheese, tomato soup and preparing snow clothes for an after nap snowball fight.




The dang State game kept dragging on and on so I took the boys out first to allow Pat to coach his team through the screen in peace :) And yes I can still zip my jacket up thankyouverymuch. The boys immediately took to throwing anything snow related at me.
Cole took throwing snowballs very seriously.




Fin thought he was the sneakiest guy on earth.




Pat joined in the fun and in case you're wondering...yes, that is a baby toboggan on his head and yes, he will pelt his 9 months pregnant wife in the butt with a snowball. I howled...that sucker hurt, but I felt better later when I accidentally pelted him in the face.




Fin has been hoping and dreaming for real snow all winter so I was so glad he got to experience snowballs, snow angels, and of course hot chocolate with marshmallows. Now I'm over it though, so if the pool could open soon I'd be very appreciative. My paleness thanks you.

Valentines day- family style

I looooved our Valentines day this year. I told the boys that even though we give snuggles and say I love you every day, that this was a fun day to show extra love and enjoy being together. Since we always have family as babysitters, it did not feel right to ask someone to babysit for us...for free...on Valentines Day. So we had a great family day and Friday night Pat and I are going out for a nice meal...and I may get out of my yoga pants (gasp!).
Wednesday night I came home from a pedicure that Pat had gotten for me and the second I walked in the door the boys started somersaulting everywhere screaming, "Happy Birthday!!". Sweet confused boys. They gave me chocolates and flowers on the mantle and then Pat lined them up to do a synchronized dance for me which was hysterical.


Thursday, Pat had presentations all day and Fin kept sighing, "it's just really sad daddy can't be with us today".


We had a full morning of a doctors appt for me and them we hit up Krispy Kreme for their heart shaped doughnuts. Heaven.


That night I made pioneer woman's lasagna for my men and garlic bread. It is the best lasagna ever. Seriously. I decorated the table for fun and Fin and I squeezed juice boxes into wine glasses for everyone because we're classy like that.





One sweet moment of the day was I was sitting making my grocery list and Fin came up to me and said, "would you be so happy if you were making your grocery list and I slipped it out of your hand and slipped a Valentines card I hade made for you into your hand as a surprise?". I smiled and said I would and then Fin paused and tried to say all nonchalantly, "hey mom, can I have a pen and paper". Ha! He's nothing if not subtle. Five minutes later he slipped this into my hand.


Cole also told me today he loves me "1,2,3,4" which I choose to believe means he loves me 1,2,3,4 thousand years. You're too kind Cole.

Great day with my boys and can't wait to have some one on one time with my main boy tonight.