Having been a new mom three times over now, there is a lot of practical things I"ve learned along the way as well as things I want my daughter to know when she is a new mom one day. I may not remember these things to tell her b/c at that point I'll be sleeping 12+ hours a night (please God) and milk stains on my shirt will be a thing of the past. So I want to record it here... None of it's wise, all of it's practical.
1) The day you bring your baby home from the hospital is the hardest day. Every day after that will get easier as you and your baby get to know each other. I say this as an encouragement. Every day you can tell yourself, "tomorrow will be easier then today", and know it to be true.
2) Fresh sheets make a world of difference in the newborn haze. It will make you feel like the rest of your house is clean and is so refreshing to climb into when you're done with a late night feeding. I don't care if you do no other laundry...wash your sheets at least once a week.
3) When people offer to help, let them. They are not offering because they think you need it or that you're doing a bad job. They're offering b/c anyone that has had a newborn, knows how valuable it is to have an extra pair of hands to rock the baby while you shower or catch a nap. They do not mean it as an insult, they mean it as a blessing to you.
4) Try babywearing. And try different kinds. It will free up your hands and miraculously put your baby to sleep without you having to do anything. If your baby hates the wrap, try the Ergo or Ring sling. Don't get discouraged easily. Just because your baby may not take to one kind doesn't mean the whole thing is a wash.
5) Don't put yourself down to your husband. Just because you feel like a mess postpartum, and you're stomach looks like biscuit dough, he has seen you do the most amazing thing in the world...birth him a child. And to him, you're superwoman. So when he says you look great, know he's being sincere. Plus, if you're nursing, your boobs have probably grown about 3 times their normal size, and that's all he cares about anyway :o)
6) Never leave the house without nursing pads. Especially when going to church. Because the second you hear a child cry, even if it's not your own, the milk is going to start flowing.
7) When people ask how you are, be honest. Don't say, "fine" if you feel like a hot mess of hormones. Be genuine, share your struggles. Chances are if you're talking to a mom, they have felt exactly how you have felt and there is comfort knowing you will survive it. Ask for prayer when you feel you need it. Being vulnerable is God given.
8) Don't freak out when you don't have a flat stomach within an hour of giving birth. Every day your stomach will shrink a little smaller. Don't compare yourself to celebrities who are a size 2 when leaving the hospital. They have had tummy tucks. It's no mystery that every teensy celebrity has a 2 week stay in the hospital following having a child. They are getting work done. You're real. Embrace what you're body has created and accomplished, don't hate it.
9) Those first few weeks, after all your help is gone, treat yourself to something every day. It doesn't have to be anything big, but it will give you something to look forward to every day and make you feel cared for. The drive thru at Sonic saw me every day for my diet vanilla coke that first week after Pat went back to work. It was needed.
10) It's ok to take a minute. If your baby has been fussy all day and you feel like you are losing it, put the baby in the crib, close the door and go sit outside for a few minutes. A break from the crying will calm your nerves. Everyone needs a moment of sanity to be a better mom.
11) I've learned that boy or girl...they both can shoot pee and poop quite some distance. Do not change the baby on your bed. There will be poop on your bed. It's guaranteed.
12) Do a bathtime every night in the beginning. It helps signal to the baby that day is done, night is beginning, and it also wears them out to hopefully go in a deep sleep afterwards.
13) Give nursing a try. It will be so much harder then the bottle in the beginning, and it's ok if you end up bottle feeding. But just try it. I feel so strongly about this not because I have any judgement for those who formula feed, but because the bond of nursing your baby is an incredible feeling to experiance. It will become painful for a while, but the pain WILL go away. So try to push through it.
14) Babies miraculously calm down outside. If nothing else works, go outside during fussy time.
15) This time of your baby being completely dependent on you is exhausting but so incredible. That feeling of a newborn draped on your body is such a high. Soak in the little moments. Know you will sleep again. But also know that you'll miss those sleepless nights.
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