Enough.

There are a lot of articles on social media right now circulating about "mom guilt" and "the mom wars" where mothers are constantly comparing and being compared to other mothers and measuring themselves based on the ideal of the other. Nursing moms vs. Bottlefeeding moms, stay at home moms vs. working moms...the general consensus among everyone seems to be, "can't we all just give each other a break?". No one agrees with this more then I do. I'm all about giving each other grace, encouraging each other as moms with love. Because, aren't we all just doing the best we can?
Except some days, if we're honest with ourselves, we are not really doing the best we can. There are those occasional days when we wake up and have this inner rage where we're like, "Where did that come from??". We snap at our kids and get on them for meaningless things, just because we feel like snapping at someone. We are weary, we haven't had a date night with our husband in awhile, and honestly that sketchy drop in day care down the street that we SWORE we would never step foot in is looking more alluring by the minute.
In those days, in those moments, I am grateful for my husband who keeps me in check. When I'm being snappish at the kids, I can tell by his raised eyebrow, or the way he steps in to help out extra, that it is his subtle way of telling me I'm getting a little cray cray. Sometimes that can make me feel defensive but always I see that my defensiveness is rooted in a truth. I am grumpy, I am tired, I cannot inflict that on my children just because they are there.
In the past week I have seen two separate appalling instances of mothers just screaming at their kids. One at Target, one at Moe's (two of the holiest of places ;o). The woman at Target was a mother of five and had temporarily lost her twins because she was looking at nail polish. She started loudly screaming at her eight year old that he should have been watching them. She berated, she complained loudly, and when she finally found her twins, she over and over told the kids how much work she does and how they make her life so hard. Honestly, everyone in the store was just cringing and looking at each other like, "Is this real life? Does this lady have any idea how horrid she is being?". In her projected complaints she probably thought she was garnering the sympathy of all of us around her but really we were all appalled. Later in the parking lot, I witnessed her smacking one of her kids b/c they weren't getting in their carseat fast enough. I left with a sick stomach, praying God would speak to that woman.
But later, when the incident stuck with me, I felt convicted. I should have said something to that woman. Not out of righteousness or anger, but out of love. If I could do it over again I would have gone up to her and said, "We have all had those days, Motherhood is HARD. But that is enough. It's enough". I'm not saying that it's my place to do that, I don't know if it's anyones place. But when we as humans are out of control, someone needs to remind us to check ourselves. Yes, motherhood is hard, but that is no excuse for any type of abuse or cruelty to our kids. All that is teaching them is lack of self control and to hurt others when we ourselves are hurting.
When my kids are grown up I think I'm going to have an interesting ministry. It will be a hodge podge of holding your newborn baby so you can sleep at night, driving around dropping off casseroles for mothers who are having hard weeks, and watching your kids at the pool so you can lay out in stillness for an hour and collect your thoughts. We as mothers are all in this together, but just as there should be no comparison, there should also be a goal that we are all lovingly holding each other to a higher standard. To strive to teach our children kindness and grace through our actions. And in those moments when we want to lash out at them, we need to keep ourselves in check and maybe get a milkshake instead :o)


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