Winter.

It finally caught up to us. Yesterday I felt it through the bottom of every door and heard it in the crackling of the window panes against the wind. I lit all our candles last night, and turned on the fire as well. One door is broken on the fireplace and keeps swinging open and while that normally bothers me, this time I swung the other one wide open as well and immediately felt warmth.
    I padded down the halls in my new slippers and crept in to check on the sleeping babes like I do every night. Kissing their cheeks to make sure they're warm enough, inhaling their sleepy smell, breathing the same prayer over them I pray every night. Help them to know You. Help them to bless others. Keep them safe. Guide us.
    I added an extra quilt to Fin's bed not so much because he needs it but because if he stirs in the night, he can burrow down and feel safe in the weight of his nest. The same way I do in mine. I toss a light blanket over Cole, knowing he's already warm enough in his footie pajamas but needing to know he has a blanket on him. For my sake. And I know he'll kick it off within five minutes. My wild sleeper.
    I want to take a hot shower for the warmth, but I don't want to feel the cold when I get out. So I add layers, crawl into bed, check the monitors and turn on my fan. Not for the cool air but for the comforting noise. I burrow down and drift off listening to the angry wind and my husbands' soft puffs of air as he breathes.
     I know at the end of February I will be restless. Dying for chlorine hair, sun-kissed skin, rasberry tea. But for now I'm content. Content to nest.

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