Excuse me sir is that a caterpillar on your face?

So a couple nights ago Pat disappeared into our bathroom and came out prancing around and dancing with the grossest mustache ever on his face

I immediately screeched in horror while Fin highfived him saying he loved it. I thought he would go right back in and shave it off after his little joke but he insisted it was staying. No sir....no sir it is indeed not.
     After the boys were asleep I found a balloon, aka Pats cryptonite. If you know anything about Pat you know that the sound and texture of balloons give him goosebumps and make his skin crawl. He literally cannot stand it. So I proceeded to to rub it and make it squeak saying I wouldn't stop until he shaved his mustache. He was in AGONY.
    So then he sneaks into the kitchen and from across the room he throws this sharp kabob stick and pops the balloon first try. We.died.laughing. I mean seriously? Who does that?
So then we called a truce, he shaved off "the newest member of our family" and I can now look at him with love instead of disgust now.
Our kids have NO chance at normalcy.